On my walk, I reflected on the last few days. Courtney has been out of town for a snowboarding trip with his buddies, and I spent the first few days on my own and the last few days in Pittsburgh seeing good friends. The time I spent alone was at first troubling. When he left (although his trip was just a few days), I was hit with the fear “I will miss him so much, I don’t want to be alone.” Dropping him off at the airport reminded me too much of those years we did the long-distance dating in college. Those times were hard driving him to the airport.

I have always had a hard time being alone. Growing up in a large family, the presence of people comforts me and makes me feel at-home. There have only been 3 years in my life when I have had my own room; I am used to sharing my things and space with others. I actually love it. It’s bad enough that I have always slept on the side of the bed that faced my sister, my roommate, or if alone, closest to the door because I know people are just outside of it.

Since Courtney and I have been married, I have been thrilled to have him close. After the years of being apart, it is amazing to have him right by my side. We have truly enjoyed all of the quality time we have together. Sitting by our fireplace talking, making new friends together, going on nice walks, sharing meals, we really enjoy where we are now. And we love our place, our apartment is nice, but small. Small enough that we can vacuum the entire place from one outlet. We take pride in that.

At times the limited space can be hard to have time alone. We are just now learning what it means to have solitude – while being married, living in a tiny place. Being alone the last few days forced me to consider “what does it mean to enjoy solitude instead of fearing loneliness?” I thought of that Richard Foster quote about the difference between loneliness and solitude:

Jesus calls us from loneliness to solitude. The fear of being left alone petrifies people…Our fear of being alone drives us to noise and crowds…But loneliness or clatter are not our only alternatives. We can cultivate an inner solitude and silence that sets us free from loneliness and fear. Loneliness is inner emptiness. Solitude is inner fulfillment. Solitude is more a state of mind and heart than it is a place.

-From Richard Foster’s Celebration of Discipline.

After some thought and time to myself, I was able to free myself from that fear of spending time on my own. Too often I fill my time alone with music, cooking, movies, getting on the computer, cleaning. Not that these things are bad, but at times I think I (and all of us) avoid the silence by filling our time with other noises. But I took time the other day, and I was able to pray, to relax, and to enjoy the time I had on my own. Solitude is a wonderful time for reflection, slowing down, and connecting. I re-remembered the necessity of solitude, although at first it seems forced, it is essential to have solitude to live a peaceful life.

So is it possible to have solitude in a tiny apartment with my husband? Yes. Is it possible to have solitude in this busy world, filled with distractions and media and tv and movies and constant social media stimulation flooding our minds? I think yes. And here is why I think it is possible:

There is a solitude of the heart that can be maintained at all times…Whether alone or among people, we always carry with us a portable sanctuary of the heart.

-Richard Foster

So take the time to prepare that place of quietness and take intentional time to have solitude. Make the choice to spend a little time on your own to cultivate that inner sanctuary. And even if it’s a one-day retreat or a 5 minute walk on your lunch break, I think it will make a difference.

- Replace butter with applesauce when baking (cookies, cakes, muffins). It keeps the recipe very moist and saves the calories and fat!

- Butter can also be replaced in savory meals with extra-virgin olive oil. Using olive oil instead gives great flavor and is also heart-healthy.

- Wheat flour tastes great in breads and other baked goods. Replace enriched white flour with wheat. It is also hearty and filling!

- Make sure to use colorful foods (and by colorful I don’t mean Skittles!) Using a variety of colors insures freshness and vitamins that you find from your vegetables and fruit. Peppers, berries, and citrus add nice zing to your recipes. There’s nothing worse than a plate full of tan, bland food.

- Replace sour cream and shortening with plain yogurt (low fat). This takes away unnecessary fat but retains the creamy flavor and texture.

 - Try to use produce that’s in season. If you have access to a farmer’s market, get your produce there. It supports local farmers, and it is good to have a variety of produce throughout the year (who knew roasted parsnips could be so good?!)

- Sweeten with honey or natural syrup. Using natural products instead of sugar or corn syrup is better for you, and honey is quite strong so you don’t need to add as much.

- Consider using turkey or chicken to replace red meats like pork and beef. Turkey sausage and turkey bacon is surprisingly tasty, my meat-loving husband can attest to that! The birds are healthier for you and also have less of a negative impact on the environment.

Feel free to share your tips to healthy eating in a comment! Bon appetit!

Last year, my sister Ellie and I brought in the New Year sleeping on a plane, heading to New Zealand. It was an odd thing to leave on a red-eye and cross the international dateline on this holiday: we left L.A. on Dec. 30th 2010 and arrived in New Zealand January 1st, 2011. Somewhere in the sky we missed the new year. Our trip, however, was incredible and was filled with the most breath-taking views of the mountains, warm tropical islands, and extremely friendly kiwi’s (we didn’t get to see any kiwi birds, it’s what they call the locals). I won’t forget hiking Arthur’s Pass or our never-ending kayak trip at Abel Tasman Park.

I spent half of 2011 in Auburn, Alabama. Although my stay was short, I met some incredible friends who will not be forgotten. Living with 10 girls was a fun experience- our weekly devotionals were my favorite thing. The South taught me to slow down a little bit more and to enjoy the beautiful outdoors. Working at a Farmer’s Market taught me how to work with my hands. I also tutored student-athletes at the University, which taught me more patience and encouraged me to brush up on my knowledge of history and sociology.

Courtney graduated in early May from Auburn and my little sister Ellie graduated from VT. I was so proud of these important people in my life, both finished with the highest honors. Just a day after Courtney graduated, we moved up to Leesburg, VA where Courtney had a job lined up. And only two weeks after his graduation, we had our wedding on a stunning, incredible day. We shared this special day with friends and family, and I will never forget the support and love felt on that day. I had the best bridesmaids in the world standing by my side, and both of our families shared such love and joy with us during that time of planning and the wedding itself, and we deeply thank them.

We spent an incredible week on our honeymoon at Deep Creek Lake in western Maryland. Hiking, horse-back riding, and a day at the spa can sum that week up as amazing. The seven days flew by, and we quickly found ourselves in our apartment, married, in a new town. Leesburg: a new life was ahead of us! I found a job with AmeriCorps teaching English to adult learners. This job wouldn’t start until September, so I spent the summer working at a local antique shop. Courtney was off to work as a new graphic designer just days after our honeymoon. We were both incredible blessed to find jobs that we love.

So far we have made some new friends here in Leesburg and we have enjoyed spending time with the old friends. A trip to Pittsburgh visiting old roommates, our annual crab feast in Maryland, our Friday Thanksgiving Dinner with friends, and celebrating more weddings with our friends truly topped off the year as a great one. 2011 had its struggles too, but it’s always worthwhile to highlight the best moments of the year.

Cheers to the New Year and cheers to those who made 2011 wonderful!

But oh, things have changed. Grocery stores are transforming into a new creature. They are adding natural wood floors, tons of organic options, and now the stores have a “market” feel. In theory, this sounds great! I love the idea of an upscale fresh market. But in reality, these places are the most stressful in the world. Two grocery stores in particular have made me want to poke my eyes out: the Wegmans in Leesburg and the Market District Giant Eagle in Pittsburgh. Both of these are trying to tackle that “home-grown” feel. Wegmans is very impressive and has an incredible fresh food cafe where you can buy fresh made pizza, make your own Asian fusion meal, or have an employee assemble you a burrito. For the cafe, I love Wegmans. But please, give me a break and just be a regular grocery store. Here is my own short list of grievances about my issues with the transforming grocery store:

1. Inaccessible parking. These mega-markets are always impossible to go in and out of. My dad visited the Wegmans in Leesburg once, and the parking garage ate his bike alive as he struck the clearance bar. What grocery store has a parking garage in Loudoun County? Unnecessary. It’s like a maze every time I have to drive there, battling mini vans and SUV’s that all have the stickers on the back with the mom, dad, kids, and pets. I think to myself, “Oh great, parents and 3 kids, that’s at least 4 people that will be in the way and running around inside.”

2. The crowd. I have found that it is always jammed packed at these grocery stores. Late at night, mid afternoon, after work, there is always a rush and huge lines for checkout. Why are there 20 lines for checkout if they only staff 3 or 4? I don’t get that.

3. Navigation. Nothing is easy to find anymore. Do you remember when there was a big black board on the ceiling that indicated which aisle the peanut butter was in?  Not in Wegmans. You have to navigate with a GPS to understand how they organize the food. In my mind, you walk in, produce is on the left (or right) and then the perimeter of the store is your fresh goods. The inside aisles have your baking goods, cereals, packaged foods. Not in your modern-day grocery store. They separate aisles into “A” and “B”, so you end up walking several miles while shopping because you can’t find the turkey sausage.

4. The attitude. I love organic food. I worked at a produce market for a year and it was a great experience- nice customers and healthy food. But in your suburban grocery store, you find young adults very interested in being green and good to the environment but could care less about people. I have been rammed by shopping carts, stared down by moms who think tell me with their eyes I am clearly in their way, and I leave every shopping experience 10 times more stressed out than before I went in. No one takes a stroll in these grocery stores these days, it’s game time once you cross the threshold.

5. Overwhelming Options. It’s really nice to have the choice to pick whatever produce you desire, but for me it’s overwhelming in these mega-markets. The wall of cereal frankly intimidates me, and I don’t need an entire section dedicated to the countless types of yogurt. The plain yogurt suits me fine, I will take the cheapest one thank you.

These are just a few of my main concerns with the direction grocery stores are headed. After my stressful encounters at Wegmans, I thought to try out the local Safeway. It’s small and quaint and doesn’t offer 89 types of cheese, but I am okay with limited selection. My cashier last time I went to Safeway told me about her ex-boyfriend and shared a little too much of her personal life, but that’s what I miss about the regular grocery store. There is nothing wrong with Wegmans or the Market District, I think what they are trying to do is great. I just think the fast-paced, high stress shopping experience isn’t meant for me, I will stick to my roots and cut coupons for Safeway.

She was not the brightest dog; one time, Sean set up a golf net in our backyard so he could hit golf balls into the loose net without losing them. Sean was innovative; constructing ziplines, swings, and sports games was his forte. On this special day, Kizzy was sprinting full speed in the backyard with her head looking over her shoulder to us, not looking in front of her. And then BAAM! She ran right into the net, springing back from the loose net because of the strong force she exerted into the net. We laughed, but later I felt sad for the poor dog.

She ran away at least once a week. Our usual method of retrieval, which was highly ineffective, required us to yell, “KIZZY COME HOME” across our neighbor’s lawn as she made her way across the street, darting cars, and out of our sight into the forest or up the road. After giving a few good calls, we would just wait for her to show up some one or two hours later panting on our front porch, hungry for dinner and drooling at the thought of her cool dish of water. It was not until I went on a field trip for school that we found a solution of how to bring Kizzy back home.

The trip was to historic Gettysburg for school. They had Civil War actors, andI clearly remember a neat demonstration of Native American arts and crafts in a tee-pee. At this demonstration, I remember buying a small painted hand drum. It was a drum head mounted on a stick about 8 inches long, and it had two swinging mallets. To play the drum, you put the stick in-between your hands and rub your hands together quickly.  The small mallets, which had been hanging from the strings, became suspended in the air as they hit either sides of the drum. It was a neat contraption and my siblings marveled at it when I brought it home. They all gave it a hit, and when they did we noticed that when the drum was struck, Kizzy would come running to it. Finally, there was a solution to our severe problem of dogrunawayitis.

Kizzy got loose soon afterwards, and sure enough, as she headed up the street, we scrambled inside to get the drum and rubbed our hands together, twisting the stick, as the mallets hit the head “bom bom bom bom bom!” Kizzy heard, perked her ears up, and turned to see us. She saw us little girls yelling on our front porch, and if a dog could smile, I am sure she did. She came running back just as fast as she had left. She ran past us, all the way into the house, and from then on, that drum lived by our telephone as our device to retrieve our mischievous pup.

This past weekend I had an experience that was a continuation to my streak. Courtney and I were out in downtown Leesburg for First Friday. On the first Friday of every month, shops are open late, art galleries have wine tastings, and there are live music performances around town. A very fun and romantic evening. In downtown, I used to work at an antique shop next to the Chris Cooley art gallery. Apparently he makes pottery in his spare time and it’s not bad stuff.

Months ago, I told my stepbrother Sean about this art gallery (and how I’ve seen Cooley go in and out of the store countless times) and Sean insisted I get his autograph. Sean gave me a Redskins hat to get signed, but of course I didn’t have it on me last Friday when Cooley’s gallery was right in front of me, and there he was inside with his intimidating posse of football guys and cheerleaders.

After some internal debate, I decided to go in and find something he could sign, just in case I don’t see him again in the future. In the shop, they have hundreds of Cooley’s football cards, so I figured that would work out just fine. I grabbed one by the desk and was waiting to get his autograph in a small line. Some kids were taking pictures with him, and I was standing close by, waiting for my opportunity to swoop in and ask for his autograph. I was next in line, but the kids in front were taking forever to get this picture so I decided to kill some time by admiring the array of pottery on the wooden table close by. This table was a beautiful, natural table, probably 7 feet long. On it decorative ceramic mugs, bowls, and vases occupied the table. I saw one mug in particular that I liked and picked it up. Examining its curves and faded colors, I took a liking to the mug. I turned it over to see the price, and on the table, out spilled beer from the mug. Unaware, there had been someone’s drink in this decorative mug placed among the other mugs. I had the worst luck to pick the one with the liquid in it. A guy (Cooley’s brother) elbows me and says, “hey, that Chris’s drink man.”

My face showed ultimate shock and fear. Chris Cooley turns around and sees my startled face, wide eyes and a lack of words. He smiled and in a joking manner said, “you trying to mess with my table?!” I was speechless. I explained that I was so so sorry and didn’t know there was a drink in there, but I really like your mug, and oh my gosh I can clean it up, don’t worry about it. Courtney had already rushed to find paper towels, but he was too late. Chris Cooley used the sleeve of his grey sweater to wipe up the mess and did it with a smile on. Relieved, I then asked for his autograph and he gave me an impatient look and signed my card. I continued to tell him how I used to work at the shop just two doors down, and, uninterested he interrupted me to pursue a conversation with someone else. He came across as rude after he wiped up the spill, I think that was his way of saying, “okay, you spilled my drink, I cleaned it up, now you can leave”. He continued his conversation with a passerby and Courtney and I said, “uh okay. Thanks! Bye!” Totally ignored by Cooley, we walked away, half excited about the autograph, half depressed that I was just a party foul to Redskins tight end, Chris Cooley. If nothing else, at least it makes for a good story.

A woman from Guatemala brought tasty chicken sandwiches topped with her special dressing recipe. From the Dominican Republic, we had a plantain dish with onions, corn, and spices. This is called “Mangu”. For the sweet tooth hankerings, there was arroz con leche (sweet rice)- spiced with a touch of cinnamon and plump raisins. To represent my ethnicity, I brought Swedish Kropsua, a special Scandinavian oven pancake. For drinks we enjoyed Purple Corn juice from Peru, made exactly from that- purple corn!

The party was a great way to relax and enjoy the work from the semester thus far. Each of us took joy in sharing a part of our culture with one another. I was touched by my students; everyone contributed to the dinner and we shared cultural conversation and listened to music. There is something special about breaking bread and sharing a meal together. Food is an essential part of life, and when it is shared, deeper bonds are created between us.

Of course, after dinner we continued with a class lesson. Students stayed surprisingly on task, even with full bellies ready for a nap. I am thankful for my experience thus far teaching English classes and am continually realizing how incredible my students are. I am fortunate to be a (small) part of their lives and to be a facilitator of learning.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others”.

I’ve always liked this quote and the message it gives: dare to be bold. What would happen if you believed in yourself?

When beginning my search for a career, I was in a bit of a mess and was fearful of the future because of the unknown. I consulted a past professor of mine and asked him for advice on how to know what kind of work to pursue. He responded, “Make a list of all the work you’ve done in your past, whether it’s volunteer or paid. Then, make a list of the things you are passionate about and that you love to do. Lastly, make a list of things you are good at. Sometimes what we love and what we are good at don’t match, but your career should be something that follows both.”

I followed my professor’s advice and came up with a few things that were on both my list of what I love and what I’m good at: education, research, and serving those living in poverty. When we moved to Leesburg I was blessed to land my job as an AmeriCorps Member at Loudoun Literacy Council. Here I am working in the Adult Education Program. The job is no easy task, there are hours of office work and administrative duties as well as teaching English classes to adults learning the language, all of whom are immigrants to the country. Each class still shakes up my nerves, fearing I will mess it all up and thinking, “my students’ futures are in my hands!” But as soon as my students take out their homework and I see the hard work they are putting into learning, I see that going beyond my fears was worth it yet again. I also see that my students are working full time jobs (sometimes 2 or 3 jobs) and are taking care of entire families, and they still make it to class in the evenings because of their desire to learn. Education truly is the key to success and is a vital element to rise out of poverty. When I compare my students’ efforts to my petty fears of leading a class, I overcome my fear with confidence that I can be a part of something great.

Seek virtue and jump on the path to discover who you are. Meditate on your passions and also your strengths, and in doing so together we can open the doors to a world of opportunity and equality.

In school most of us learned the saying, “In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.” Columbus came from a monarch-ruled Spain (under the approval of Ferdinand and Isabella) and at the time Spain was militant Christian country (83). Columbus was in search for the East Indies (an area we now know as Japan) and he was intent on trading for Indian goods and spices. He attempted to sail a new route in which he sailed across the Atlantic instead of going West from Spain. And bam! Land-ho! He and his crew hit land in what he named San Salvador. He thought it originally (and stubbornly insisted for quite some time) that he had hit the Indies, but this land was actually a part of the Americas (an island in the Bahamas). There he was confronted by native people on the island. He called them “Indians” (remember…he thought he was in India?) but indeed these people were the Native people to the land in the Americas. He referenced this land as the “New World”, full of potential goods and resources for the Spaniards to take at will. But the people who lived there had inhabited the land for thousands of years prior to Columbus’ voyage, and this was not a New World but an old world filled with history, heritage, and stories.

Columbus was amazed by the kindness and attitudes of the native people. He actually described them as “simple children of nature, timid, generous, and guileless” (77). However, Columbus came from a country filled with zealous conquistadoras, and this New World became an area to be taken and destroyed. Throughout the years following Columbus’ first contact with the native people, mandates were made (i.e. the Requerimiento) to force the people into submitting their land and resources to the Europeans. These original people were forced to acknowledge the Church as “Ruler and Superior of the whole world”, and if they disobeyed the Spanish command, their lives were put at risk and open warfare soon followed.

Other voyagers had landed on the Americas and had interacted with the native people prior to Columbus, but what sets him apart from the Vikings and other possible quests were the settlements established after his voyage. They landed, explored, and stayed for good. Columbus took several trips back and forth from Europe to the Americas, each time with more vigor and passion to take the land for he and his people. Gold was rumored to be plentiful in the area, and Spanish forces seized land reaching to Florida in search for the riches but did not find what they had hoped for (83). The native people were enslaved, killed, and their culture was nearly destroyed throughout all of the turmoil after contact with Columbus. Not only did the Europeans stay and take the land, but they brought with them foreign diseases unknown to the native people that nearly wiped out the population. It was common to have 90% mortality rates in villages throughout the Caribbean (82).

Arguably, Columbus was the character in history who opened European powers to the “New World” in the Bahamas. Explorers followed for years to come, and by the end of the 16th century, Europe had created its first empire overseas (83). Columbus did change the world in 1492, and think what you’d like about his accomplishments.

Citations taken from: Calloway, Colin G. 2008. First Peoples: A Documentary Survey of American Indian History. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin’s.

We thought moving out here would be a piece of cake, it’s only an hour away from home and most of our friends. I imagined us meeting some new people who also enjoy the outdoors and good fun. I visualized biking with a new group of friends, the kind of slow-motion mental images you have where everyone is laughing having a great time. I day-dreamed of embarking on an adventurous trip like white-water rafting with a group of 4 or 5 hip friends. Water splashing, high fives all around, lots of laughing. Hasn’t happened yet.

Just a few weeks into our move in May we realized it wouldn’t be so easy. I just want to say what no one ever says: Making friends in a new town (outside of college life) is difficult! Courtney and I have gone to plenty of fun events where we hoped we might meet some new people here in our community. We’ve gone to some outdoor concerts, First Friday gallery walks, and hit up the bar scene. On a Friday night while strolling in downtown Leesburg, shops were open late and wine tastings were held in all the galleries. We saw another young couple holding hands, approaching us as we crossed the street. Out of desperation Courtney exclaimed, “you guys look like a cool couple!!” They smiled, she held his hand closer to her and appeared slightly freaked out. They kept walking. Not the way to approach friend-criteria people.

I’ve done some research on social groups online, like MeetUp.Com. I thought “maybe this is how everyone else does it”. So I searched for some events coming up in the area, a Korean Barbeque, a Philosophical meeting, nothing seemed to really fit. I saw an event for a hike to Harper’s Ferry and signed up! I thought, “this is perfect, some people interested in exploring and exercise!” I got on my email later that day and saw an email from the hiking group, turns out it was for a 40′s+ age group who does social events every few weeks. I had to leave the group, I am not qualified being nearly half the age of the group.

We’ve made a small group of great friends at our new church. It’s a friendly place filled with community and events. But little did we know the area we moved to has babies everywhere! Each family has at least 3 kids, all within 3 or 4 years of one another. It can be challenging making friends when most couples have little ones running around the place. We are in a different place in our lives still getting used to marriage and relatively fresh out of college. The thought of babies at first was freaky to us, but being around the adorable cuddly things more and more has been good exposure for us both. However, making spontaneous events to hang out with busy parents usually isn’t the best plan.

Last weekend we tried the bar scene. We sometimes get custard dessert at a place in Leesburg near some bars and typically the crowd seems to be raving having a good time  so we thought we’d make a trip, just the two of us, trying to find friends. The place was called Shenanigans. There was a live band covering 90′s rock music so we enjoyed that. At first we uncomfortably looked around, seeing all of these groups, and we were plotting how to jump in and talk with everyone. We soon realized that bars are places to go with a group of friends, not usually the place to make great new friends. Music is loud, it’s hard to hear what anyone says, and we could barely focus on anything but the 10 t.v’s around us. Not having a t.v. with channels at home makes it super distracting in public when you see them and are mesmerized by the images.

Friday night we saw a glimpse of success. Around 9:30 in the evening we went for a walk to the Blockbuster by our house to rent a movie and walked past a coffee shop. We heard music and saw a young lady on a violin playing a fiddle song. She was our neighbor, so we thought we’d stop in and listen. There was an eclectic group listening, with instruments on their laps and spread around the ground. An accordion, guitars, trumpets, a set of pots, pans, and mallets. The next group got up and played on their interesting instruments and we stuck around to listen. After the show (turns out it was an open mic night), we met a few neat folks that seemed to be fun and friend material. Although we got close to exposing our desperation for friends, we played it cool and walked away from the coffee shop with possible hang outs to come.

Friends are crucial in life, but we are learning how deep relationships take time. Real friends are made when you experience life together, through the joy and trials. It takes time to form a group you can depend on and spend quality time with, but we have certainly started. We have also realized that we aren’t 200 miles away from our friends back in MD, and we look forward to every minute spent with old friends.